Relationships and how to keep your energy positive

Relationships, and the big influence on your energy level

Relationships and your energy

Part V of the series Working with Energies is about relationships. Every relationship entails energy changes. For instance the relationship you have with neighbors and colleagues. Or with friends and acquaintances. But especially close and intimate relationships can have a major impact on you energy. Both positively and negatively. Like with being overwhelmingly in love or having a nasty divorce.

The question is therefore: to what extent do I find it okay or acceptable that my energy, my life, changes due to a relationship. And to what extent do I want to be responsible for the fact that the energy changes of people I have a relationship with. In Part V we look at how your energy is affected by a relationship. And how to guard your energy in a relationship.  

The change of energy caused by relationships

You often get a good idea of the impact of a relationship by comparing two situations. How does my energy feel when being alone. And how does my energy feel when I meet a certain person.

For example, you may find that when you see a baby, you come into a very gentle and loving energy. Or that you are more open-hearted with certain people and more reserved with others. You may find that you meet an old love and your heart begins to radiate again. Whereas with someone you’ve once had an argument with, you immediately become defensive. Or take the examiner who unfairly failed you. Perhaps you again feel helplessness, anger or resentment at the sight or thought of that person.

The person you have a relationship with and the sort of relationship affects your energy. A balanced relationship will have quite a different effect on you than a relationship of dependency. Like a love relationship feels different than the one of employer and employee. While a parent-child relationship will feel different for a parent than for a child.

The influence of situations on relationships

Also, regarding relationships, the situation you are in will affect your energy. How does your energy feel when your child wants something you don’t allow. And how does your energy feel when you go on vacation together, with high expectations. How does it affect you when your employer depends promotion on your opinion, submissiveness or sexual willingness. And how does your energy change when you enjoy working together without any coercion. Or take the difference in energy with your lover on the day your companionship is in a bad state. And how that differs from the day when between the two of you everything is hosanna.

Whenever a situation changes, your energy will change. It therefore can be very worthwhile when you guard your energy in many situations. Or try this exercise: being aware of your energy in a new situation. For example, think about the first school or course day, the first day in a new job, the first time out with a new lover. All situations that are new in any way can be used for this purpose. At a later stage, when this new situation has become more habitual, you can then compare the two. How does it differ in energy, feeling, emotion… This will not only tell you a lot about yourself. But can also teach you how to keep your energy positive in various situations.

Intimate relationships, intense energy changes

The more intimate a relationship is, the stronger the energy changes will be. After all, you are then very close physically as well as emotionally. Significantly, intimate relationships can give moments (or times) of great happiness alongside those of great discord. An intimate relationship tends to have greater peaks and valleys than less intimate relationships. And this off course also affects the energy of the partners.

Situation I: In love up to your ears

A young couple is madly in love. Acquaintances allowed them free use of a vacation home in the sunny southern French countryside. A vacation home in a secluded idyllic spot with a beautiful blue swimming lake attached. The lovers spend their time lounging, talking, swimming, caressing, kissing and making love. Every time one of them calms down for a moment, the other comes in with eyes full of love to lift the mood of infatuation and happiness. Their high-spirited energies naturally adjust to each other. For both it will become an unforgettable vacation.

Situation II: Crumbling happiness

The same couple some years later. They now have 3 children. He is away a lot for work. And also wants to give his friends enough attention. She is tired of the heavy job as a mother, and feels so often left alone. When they are together, he so badly wants to make love again. She, however, wants loving attention first. And understanding for her heavy, lonely task. The couple is not always on the same wavelength anymore. Their energies no longer automatically adjust to each other, but are sometimes opposite. Resulting in regular energetic friction. But the time of their young happiness has made their relationship so strong, that they overcome this disagreement every time.

Guarding your energy in relationships

Because relationships have such a great impact on your life, it is wise to guard your energy in such circumstances. What happens in this relationship with me? How do I react on what the other says and does? And how reacts the other on my energy and on what I say and do? With some people you are around you always get a nice feeling. With other people you always notice how your energy is brought down, and you feel tired and drained. Those people are best avoided.

In relationships you can ask yourself some important questions:

  • Does it heal my energy or does it steal my energy?
  • How does it make me feel: good or bad?
  • Does it have a long-term positive or negative effect on me?

Like Light Master Jesus said: Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. The same goes for this. If you ask yourself this questions regularly, then you can pretty quickly filter out those people and situations that do you good. And save yourself a lot of trouble and frustration. Working with Energies in relationships is fruitful work and helps you to become a real energy master.


Part VI, the last part of the series Working with Energies, deals with Daily Energy Work. Which of your energies change regularly, and how can you keep them positive or make them positive again?

WWE I: Working with Energies 
WWE II: Energy Changes
WWE III: Emotions
WWE IV: The Ego

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